Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Hooper Reviews Heroes: Fugitives - Ep 9

Heroes Season 3
Volume Four: Fugitives


Episode Nine: "Turn and Face the Strange"


What Happened:

Let's nutshell this one:

*Sylar and Danko frame HRG, who figures out the two are working together (clever girl). HRG also faces divorce, after Sylar messes with him while looking like his wife, prompting the company man to slam his wife into a table and press a gun to her head before a conveniently-timed call from Lyle (who? Oh, the brat) convinces him of her real-ness.
*Peter and Angela (later met by Claire, Nathan, and HRG) show up at a broken down camp of sorts where the bodies are buried, or something ominous (summer camp gone horribly wrong!).
*Matt Parkman meets his son, successfully delivered by Hiro and Ando, after ruining the one good thing in Danko's life (because that's heroic; to be fair, he doesn't kill anyone and realizes he's hit bottom).
*Suresh discovers what his dad was up to back in the 60s.

***

There are three great things about this episode:

1) Matt meets his kid, and it's a genuinely happy moment in a grim story. We see this has/will change Parkman's characterization for the better, both within the story and narratively. The guy's been Debbie Downer since this all started, not thinking logically, ignoring all the cop stuff and any sense of levity.

2) HRG is still amazing. No non-powered character is better than him, and I'd say he's more rounded than anyone on the show. So not only does he deduce the Sylar-body isn't Sylar, but James Martin, he then puts two and two together that Danko rigged this up. Sans glasses, he strolls into Danko's office, pretending to be Sylar-as-HRG and holds up some "new" files from Primatech. The bald hunter takes the bait. HRG holds him at gunpoint, but it goes downhill after that (Danko correctly tells HRG which agent Sylar is posing as, HRG shoots him and tells those around that it's really Sylar, but Sylar holds off healing to frame Noah. Noah flees, etc etc.). He's smart, and he operates using real logic, not make-believe emotional snap-decisionry (a Petrelli favorite).

3) The Japanese Trucker that sounds like GW Bush's neighbor.

***

Heroes: Fugitives

Episode One: "A Clear and Present Danger"
Episode Two: "Trust and Blood"
Episode Three: "Building 26"
Episode Four: "Cold Wars"
Episode Five: "Exposed"
Episode Six: "Shades of Gray"
Episode Seven: "Cold Snap"
Episode Seven: "Into Asylum"

-Hooper

Read on, faithful few!

Thursday, April 23, 2009

He's very convincing, for a gecko.


Written a while ago, here is a comic strip "from the vault."
...not that anything has gone anywhere but the vault. I digress.

***





-Hooper


Read on, faithful few!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Lions attacks buffalo. Crocodile attacks buffalo. Buffalo's friends arrive.


EDIT: Link Fixed!


They call it the Battle at Kruger.

A landmark wildlife preserve in South Africa, Kruger Park offers a variety of safari options. Few realize "open warfare" was one of them. This video was shot by some tourists and their guide. To entice you to click through, I will say it features a pride of lions attacking a water buffalo...before a crocodile decides it wants some of the action.

And then the buffalo's friends arrive.


It's not David Lean-quality directing, but it's a unique glimpse at nature-in-action that even the best Nova special often misses (or has to over-edit to present). The tourist commentary ("Oh, you're too late!") is entertaining.

War at the Watering Hole!

Enjoy.

-Hooper

Read on, faithful few!

Friday, April 17, 2009

Plot Summaries, Take 2


After enjoying the plot summaries I linked to earlier in the week (check it out if you haven't, and be sure to read the comments section, as many other readers chimed in with their own), Hooper and I were bitten by the creativity bug. So without further ado, here are our own plot summaries for various movies and TV shows. We hope you have as much fun reading them as we had writing them.

Hooper's are in RED, mine are in BLUE.


8MM: Private detective discovers a burgeoning niche market in home video distribution.
Armageddon: Widower fails to protect daughter’s virginity, dies.
Back to the Future: Deranged scientist steals nuclear material, pushes teenage boy to incest.
Bad Boys: "Thug" culture corrupts urban police station.
Bambi: Hunter misses second shot. (Alternate: Hunter fails to fill his quota for the season.)
Big: Pre-teen with hormone imbalance seduced by corporate climber.
Blade: Narcissist seeks to destroy all those like him.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Teenage girl desecrates corpses, dates older men.
Chicago: Murderers are set free, pursue employment in the entertainment industry.
Deliverance: Weekend plans go awry.
Dog Day Afternoon: Gay man acts up for media attention.
Dracula: Recluse discovers new tastes abroad.
Face/Off: Cosmetic surgery breakthrough discovered.
Family Guy: Two local pedophiles go undetected in family-friendly neighborhood.
Finding Nemo: Inattentive father loses physically handicapped son, mocks mentally-disabled woman.
Forrest Gump: Retarded man has bad timing, inexplicably breeds.
Frasier: Retired police officer suffers indignities of two closeted sons, ill-bred caregiver.
Free Willy: Eco-terrorist ruins seaside attraction.
Friday the 13th: Mother celebrates her late son's life.
Friends: Woman abandons man at altar, shacks up with best friend's brother, has love child.
Glory: Experimental military unit fails to achieve objective.
Hot Fuzz: A fascist and his mentally-challenged friend work out their issues by assaulting senior citizens.
House MD: High-end teaching hospital employs drug addict and self-absorbed residents who only treat one patient per week. (Alternate: Self-loathing drug addict saves lives.)
How I Met Your Mother: Father shocks children with tales of promiscuity, brings into doubt his fidelity to their mother; "Aunt" Robin viewed in new light.
Karate Kid: Put-out teenage boy enters physically abusive relationship with WWII vet.
Kiss the Girls: Man expands unique collection, finds pen-pal.
Lawrence of Arabia: Effeminate white man conquers Middle East.
Mary Poppins: Nanny introduces psychedelics to upper-crust British children, violates child labor laws.
Masters of the Universe: Foreign LARPers force couple to participate in their RPG; deformed midget discovers music.
Men in Black: Government kills illegal alien, covers it up. (Alternate: Government agency's hiring program scrapes bottom of barrel.)
Poltergeist: Parents abuse drugs while daughter is abducted.
Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves: Returning vet has hard time fitting in, goes on crime spree with black man.
Roseanne: Morbidly obese couple deal with economic hardship, disappointing children.
Shaun of the Dead: British retail drone deals with spoiled meat.
Signs: Faithless preacher ignores daughter during crisis.
Sleepers: Murderers go free after sham trial.
Smallville: Immigrant suspected in property destruction, mysterious deaths.
South Park: Transgender teaches youth while town wallows in political corruption, spontaneous violence.
Speed: Cripple endangers commuters.
Spider-Man: Introverted teen gets radiation poisoning, begins professional wrestling career, kills wealthy industrialist.
Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan: Retiree runs afoul of secret government think-tank.
Star Wars: The Phantom Menace: Paramilitary religious cult takes boy from single mother, skilled mechanic's job.
Star Wars: Attack of the Clones: Bi-polar teen endangers commuters, seduces older woman, attacks geriatric, propagates civil war.
Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith: Assassination plot prevented; government enacts new reforms. Wife-beater promoted. (Alternate: An unplanned pregnancy leads to complications.)
Steel Magnolias: Diabetic ignores doctor's advice, neglects newborn.
The Big Lebowski: Differing philosophical viewpoints prove a distraction on League Night.
The Blues Brothers: Fugitive brothers form band; antagonize police, socialists.
The Bourne Identity: American tourist kills many, finds love during European janut.
The Godfather: Domestic problems spill into the workplace.
The Green Mile: Incarnation of Jesus Christ killed yet again after wrongful imprisonment. (Alternate: Dangerously large black man incites violence between prison official, inmate.)
The Longest Day: Tourists take advantage of scenic beaches.
The Negotiator: Many die in hostage situation.
The Rock: Geriatric felon slaughters soldiers of fortune.
The Shawshank Redemption: Convicted double-murderer escapes.
The Simpsons: Mentally handicapped man starts family, gets union job.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: Tourists fail to anticipate special needs of local handicap.
Tombstone: Lawman and his terminally-ill friend go on killing spree.
Unbreakable: Paraplegic commits acts of terrorism, stalks family man with genetic disorder.

-Buck

Read on, faithful few!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

GHOSTBUSTERS: Unemployed college professors destroy hotel with nuclear weapons.



Dorian of postmodernbarney (with some assistance from some of my favorite comics bloggers) brings the masses "Uncomfortable Plot Summaries."

Some of my favorites:

ALIENS: An unplanned pregnancy leads to complications.
BATMAN: Wealthy man assaults the mentally ill.
BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA: Redneck trucker kills Chinese immigrants.
DIE HARD: Dysfunctional cop saves marriage by murdering foreign national.
JURASSIC PARK: Theme park’s grand opening pushed back.
LORD OF THE RINGS: Midget destroys stolen property.
SCARFACE: Immigrant finds running his own business stressful, dangerous.
SMOKEY AND THE BANDIT: Redneck bootlegger makes mockery of law, sanctity of marriage.
STAR WARS: A NEW HOPE - Religious extremist terrorists destroy government installation, killing thousands.

Plenty more at the link.

-Buck

Read on, faithful few!

"Where are my Heroes reviews?!" (BABY!)


Due to a busy work schedule, as well as a rather big deal in my personal life (see below), I've been preoccupied. I do intend to get the reviews up sometime (there are three extant), but give me a bit to square other things up.

And my big deal?



We shall debut the child in September, certainly to rave reviews and much fanfare.

-Erik
(Hooper)

Read on, faithful few!

Thursday, April 9, 2009

"And I thought they were soft...on the OUTside!"

The world of sleepovers got a whole lot awesomer.

ThinkGeek presents the TaunTaun sleeping bags. Currently available for delivery only to Hoth, the company hopes to distribute Sectorwide later this year.

Featuring an attached, embroidered tauntaun head pillow and a lining simulating the "smelly, but warm" insides of a dead tauntaun, the sleeping bag is perfect for camping out in the yard, spending the night at a friends or saving your future wife's idiot brother from certain death by exposure.

Measuring 32"x60", the sleeping bag is, according to ThinkGeek, perfect for childrend and small adults. And it's so cozy, simulating "the warmth of a Tauntaun carcass ."

It even has a little glowing lightsaber as the zipper. Aside from authentic sound effects as you unzip it, this product has it all.



Buy yours today!

**Warning: does not protect against wampa-attack. Jedi visions not included.**

-Hooper

Read on, faithful few!

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Hooper Reviews Heroes: Fugitives - Episode 8

Heroes Season 3
Volume Four: Fugitives


Episode Eight: "Into Asylum"


What Happened:

Nathan and claire bond in Mexico while on the lam, and decide to return to the US. They have a cute scene where Nathan tries to raise money by out-drinking some American college students; he fails, but Claire steps in and her unique physiology allows her to win. A drunken Nathan admits he gave Claire the free pass to try and win her over, to make her like him, and that now he has to set things right. Upon waking (sober), he admits he doesn't have the ability to pick up the phone and Get Things Done, Claire loses faith, but later he comes around.

Angela and Peter find sanctuary in a church, giving Angela time to sleep and dream. They must bring the family together, including her sister. A sister? While at the church, Peter asks God why bad things happen to him. In pop a squad of agents led by HRG, who discovers the two hiding in the confessional. He says nothing. Good man, Noah Bennet.

A hero-napping goes awry when three of four agents are killed. Noah is not happy and lectures Danko for sending in agents who didn't know what they were up against. Turns out the killer is a shapeshifter and is posing as an agent. He can be anyone by just touching them, and has serious identity issues.

Danko is confronted by Sylar, who offers to work with "Building 26" to get all those with powers, leaving Sylar the last man standing. Their first joint target is the shapeshifter, who they track down and kill while he's wearing Sylar's face. Sylar takes his ability (empathically, not through rough neurosurgery, so the body is preserved), the agency thinks Sylar is dead and this dangerous liason can continue.

To be continued next week in "Turn and Face the Strange."

***

I enjoyed having a shapeshifter brought in, and that power adds a lot to the mix, especially since Sylar now has it. I liked that part of the episode. All the Petrelli-related stuff was a bit slow, overdue and simply continued to shuffle them around.

That's the problem with this season. Characters are simply moving from point a to b to c to etc. in order to get them to some predetermined endpoint. Why not give them real stories in the meantime?


Heroes: Fugitives

Episode One: "A Clear and Present Danger"
Episode Two: "Trust and Blood"
Episode Three: "Building 26"
Episode Four: "Cold Wars"
Episode Five: "Exposed"
Episode Six: "Shades of Gray"
Episode Seven: "Cold Snap"

-Hooper

Read on, faithful few!